WEEK 3 - WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK
LISTEN UP LADIES. WE MAY BE 2 WEEKS BEHIND BUT WE ARE FUCKING BACK. We are proud to announce that for the 2024-2025 season the CLT WAR ROOM has a functioning media team with a new and improved website. And do not think for a second that while we were on hiatus for the 23-24 season, that we wouldn’t have any content for you. Let’s see how things shook up last year.
In the end our brother “Frozone” took his boys “Brother Eleven” into the championship and walked away with the title. On the opposite end of the spectrum, “Pred” took home the honor of last place and has chosen the fabled ass tattoo as his selected punishment. However, now 3 weeks into the season and the league is being given the “Blue” treatment as there has yet to be a tattoo or even an appointment. The media team now suggests that the league take a poll and set a hard date for punishment completion barring heavy consequences. Now let’s jump into how the first two weeks of the 24’-25’ season has played out.
After two full weeks of NFL football gracing our lives, we only have 3 teams remaining undefeated :
“Pred’s” - Weasel Wizards
“Big Bod’s” - Beach’s School for the Autistic
“Double Deuce’s” - Whiskey Business
Meanwhile there are also 3 teams that are winless thus far :
“Jameis’” - Hog Squad
“Tang Weasel’s” - LANK
“Og Scatti’s” - The Cobwebs
Meanwhile the remainder are sitting at a clean 1-1. Now lets FINALLY get into week 3. Note : This is written after the TNF game played 9/19.
We have a great week of matchups ahead of us this week, so let’s start in the with the one who still needs to get their tattoo (FUCKING GET IT ALREADY YOU COWARD)
“EOD” - Motorboat City vs “Pred” - Weasel Wizards - Projection : Weasel Wizards 105.3 - 94.3 Motorboat City
These two teams are very WR heavy, with low floor high ceiling RB rooms. Personally the media team believes that this matchup will come down to whoever’s QB decides to show up this Sunday. With CJ Stroud playing in Minnesota and Lamar playing Dallas; both QB’s have potential to blow the roof off the projected scores.
“Hotshot and Razz” - Najee Germany vs “Slim Reaper” - Glass Cannon - Projection : Najee Germany 98.6 - 86.3 Glass Cannon
Frankly, if Hotshot and Razz don’t pull out a victory this week; they deserve to drive to Mount Rushmore together. The Glass Cannon roster has caught a horrendous string of luck to start the season, with the better part of the roster being so disabled that they actually popped up on “Blue’s” Tinder/Hinge and asked him to dinner.
OG Scatti - The Cobwebs vs Tang Weasel - “LANK” - Projection : The Cobwebs 114.2 - 106.7 LANK
Well at least one of these teams will walk away from this week with a win, that is unless they tie. Which would be the funniest fucking thing imaginable. Both of these teams have solid projections and it appears this matchup will be decided by how well their teams can run the ball, with their respective WR being a solid lock for a floor of 8-10 points.
Double Deuce - “Whiskey Business” vs “Blue” - Beach Week - Projection : Whiskey Business 99.7 - 83.0 Beach Week
All media/homer bias aside, while we love “Blue” to death; the only thing worse than his love life is his drafting/management of a team. The only worse management of a team we have seen is currently ongoing with Tepper, who the media fears could be lynched like Joe McNeely was on stadium property (side note: if you didn’t know yeah there was deadass a lynching in 1913 and they put the stadium over where it happened kinda wild). Meanwhile “Double Deuce” is missing both his first and second round picks this week due to injury, so if they can escape and survive another week it is by sheer fucking luck
Jameis — “Hog Squad” vs Frozone “Winter Soldier Avengers” - Projection : Hog Squad 95.3 - 107.7 Winter Soldier Avengers
As of writing this Jameis has brought out an extremely bold strategy, not playing a player in the flex position. Assuming he places someone in it come 1pm Sunday, this matchup gets a LOT closer. Meanwhile Frozone is relying on his WR to come up big this week to counteract the potential sidelining of Kittle for the week (as of writing he was just announced doubtful). Assuming both players will adjust their lineups come game time, this will be a good one to watch.
Big Bod “Beach’s School for the Autistic” vs. PHD “Sartorius” - Projection : B.S.F.A 103.9 - 104.4 Sartorius
This is the media’s chosen matchup of the week, as both rosters are somehow semi-healthy and this is set to be a shootout. This is another matchup that will come down to WR performance; with Sartorius now gaining Chris Olave after some desperate moves on the trade market and Big Bod having both Devonta Smith and Mike Evans. This matchup will be high scoring with the media believing that the true decider may be the defenses and who can hold on.
Wrapping up, this was a short but sweet one. Many more and many new things coming in the future. For now, enjoy yourselves. Keep your minds clear, wallet full and nuts empty. (Also will be creating a poll function within the site in the future for matchups of the week, and will be bringing back the interviews if you’re selected. If you don’t give an interview one will be written for you. Which is not recommended.) Also stop changing your fucking team names so much they’re staying as they are now, also please feel free to shoot over any photo/video content acquired that would be fun to use in a recap.
PEACE.